“Hot Toddy” stole the show and took home the crown with his/her cane, wheelchair and oxygen tank Thursday night at the 2005 “Miss Understood” Womanless Beauty Pageant.

“Hot Toddy,” normally known as Dr. Jeff Hoyer, an associate professor of Communications, boogey danced across the floor with her humpback and red pumps, dragging her cane along with her.

The pageant is a fund-raiser for the UTM chapter of the Public Relations Student Society of America, or PRSSA.

“This gives me a new lease on life,” Hoyer said. “I feel more sympathetic to women for having to go through this every day. Putting on pantyhose is just too much for me. Around me, I am pretty sure no one would feel safe walking to their cars.”

Finishing in the top five were: “Veronica,” alter ego of Aaron Richardson, sponsored by Sigma Chi; “Trichelle Wood,” whose real name is Trey Wood, sponsored by Chi Omega; “Selma Body,” also known as Adam Ragan, sponsored by Alpha Omicron Pi; “Victoria Love,” who also goes by Blake Kee (no sponsor listed); and, of course, “Hot Toddy,” who also is the PRSSA faculty adviser. Each contestant had to perform a talent, which ranged from juggling and cheering to “dropping it like it was hot” and boogey dancing.

“Veronica” took home the plaque for “People’s Choice Award” for raising the most money in the crowd. “Trichelle Wood” won first maid and was crowned Miss Congeniality for her toe touch abilities and cheerleading qualities. “Selma Body” “dropped it like it was hot” after she was mysteriously healed from her wheelchair and was voted second maid.

“Hot Toddy’s” ability to dance while dozing from her oxygen supply earned her the Most Talented certificate.

Hosts for the “Miss Understood” pageant were Teresa Collard, an instructor of Communications, and David Belote, interim vice chancellor for Student Affairs. Door prizes were given to members of the audience whose names were drawn from the entrance bucket. Half of the proceeds from the people’s votes and money raised will help with the Hurricane Katrina Relief Fund.

Other pageant contestants were: “Country Kandi” (Carson Kuehn), sponsored by Zeta Tau Alpha; “Ain’t Yo Mama” (Nick Lucas), sponsored by Alpha Gamma Rho; “Daisy Do Right” (Shawn Robertson), sponsored by the Huntingdon Mustangs; “Stifler’s Mom” (Scott Holmes), sponsored by Chi Omega; “Princess Sophia” (Kevin Creech); sponsored by Chi Omega; “Candies” (Nathan Doss), sponsored by Alpha Gamma Rho; and “Stacy’s Mom” (Stephen Little), sponsored by Chi Omega.