Mission Impossible Foray into the bathroom

The mission you have undertaken Is fraught with danger There are booby traps everywhere That could result in pain, Or worse, death This is no place for the faint of heart or the weak in spirit Welcome to Our Bathroom

Your mission To utilize toilet, shower, and sink And escape with your life Your tools A towel A bucket Some soap.

The enemy will expect you to be practical The enemy will expect you To walk in the room, and turn on the light Or worse, plug a lamp into the outlet And by flipping that switch You will receive the last Electrifying shock Of your life Beware, my friends and comrades Of the light switch of death

The enemy will expect you to step quickly To lose your footing and fall facedown Into the yellow disgusting waters Of your own destruction Step carefully, and you will overcome this obstacle

Proceed directly to the toilet But with caution A new version of the old Chinese water torture Has been developed specifically For this situation Be swift, or the steady drip Onto your temples Will drive you to screams of insanity.

As for the washing of hands, Immediately afterwards, Pay no mind to the random faucet vibration It is intended as a distraction To cause you to lose your focus And emerge unprepared For the largest challenge of them all The mist of fire.

Although it appears soft, soothing, and gentle Deception is its middle name. Preset the temperature if you dare. However, no man who steps into this shower comes out unscathed. Flashes of scalding water Will sear the skin from your bones. There is no escape from this agony. You must endure. You must persevere. And if you should survive You will earn the right to be called One of the few, the strong, the proud, The McCord residents.

This message will self-destruct in 5 …

Crystal Zanders is a junior International Studies major from Clarksville.